Why ‘Feel Your Fear and Do It Anyway’ is Terrible Advice

The problem with advice like ‘feel your fear and do it anyway’ is that the emphasis is not on the ‘feel it’ (passive/feminine) part, but strongly on the ‘do it'(active/masculine) part.

This is how we become un-balanced and un-whole.

If the body is in survival mode and we’re intellectually trying to talk ourselves out of it – using affirmations or positive psychology or what have you and somehow pushing through – that’s akin to driving with one foot on the gas pedal and one on the brake.

The body-mind connection gets fractured, we’re thrown into an even deeper panic and that’s when the self-judgements, inner-criticism begin to hit. Because we feel there’s no way out.
This state is very dangerous both for our physical and emotional health.

When we forcibly suppress and suck up our feelings, we shut down a vital source of information and wisdom.

The other, more preferable option is to honor the fear and really feel it. What real fears are underneath it? Do we fear rejection, abandonment, being found out (typical symptom of imposter syndrome)?
Breathing into the darkest aspects of our psyche, illuminating those parts with love and compassion, we make the unconscious, conscious.

That’s where the gold is. Every. single. time.

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Puja Madan
Puja Madan is a Stevie-award winning leadership coach supporting entrepreneurs build their business with intentional productivity and mindfulness.

Puja’s qualifications include an MBA, 14+ years in tech startups and business strategy, meditation and spiritual development from India. She
contributes regularly to publications like the Washington Post, the Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen and ElephantJournal.